


I Will Always Listen

by cyanidegirl



Category: Nightwing (Comics), Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Non-graphic discussions of past rape, but considering the subject matter, it should be, nightwing 93, that is what I will be addressing here, wow this is angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-12
Updated: 2016-10-12
Packaged: 2018-08-21 23:54:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8265046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cyanidegirl/pseuds/cyanidegirl
Summary: Wally and Dick always rely on each other to recover from nightmares, but some are more fierce than others. And sometimes, you have to tell a secret before you can heal.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Okay I'll keep this short and talk more at the end, but this chapter is gonna address/discuss Nightwing v2 Issue #93. That being said, warning for the discussion of rape, though it is not graphic at all.  
> “The urge to interrupt him before he finished was overwhelming” was the prompt for this chapter, from a first line generator site, which gives you a random line to build a story around. It’s not gonna be the first line of the story but ARTISTIC LICENSE. So anyway, on with the story.

“The poison leaves bit by bit, not all at once.  Be patient.  You are Healing”

~Yasmin Mogahed

      Wally turned to face the wall of Dick’s apartment, frustrated at his inability to fall asleep.  They’d spent a really nice afternoon together simply enjoying each others’ company before coming to the decision that they could afford a night off from patrol.  God knows Dick certainly needed the sleep after his most recent case.  Wally was glad that Dick was going to be getting a proper night’s rest, but the speedster couldn’t seem to fall asleep as easily as his partner.  

      Wally was abruptly tugged from his thoughts as a distressed whimper left Dicks mouth and Wally felt his body tense in his sleep.  He immediately flipped himself back over to face Dick, prepared to wake him from his sleep if necessary. It wouldn't be the first time, they were both no strangers to nightmares.  You don’t live through the things they do and see without at least some of them, haunting you in your sleep, but they were always able to comfort one another during these times.

      Dick’s face seemed restless , but whatever was causing it didn’t seem to be too troubling, so he decided not to wake him.  Wally reached out to pull Dick closer, a move that usually helped soothe the former boy wonder.  Tonight, however, it did the opposite.  Dick struggled against the grip and gave a yell that sounded like ‘no’.  Wally sat up worried, this wasn’t a reaction he’d _ever_ gotten from Dick.  Dick was curled up now, still asleep and muttering something Wally couldn’t quite make out.  He was going to have to wake him up.  

      “Dick, hey, babe wake up,” he tried, soothingly, “it’s just a dream.  It’s not real anymore, everything’s alright” Wally reached out and put a hand on Dick’s shoulder as he spoke.  

      “No, don’t touch me!” Dick shouted and shot up, pushing Wally off the bed.  Dick was wide awake now, breathing heavily and his eyes frantically scanning the room as if he needed to be sure that he wasn’t still trapped in the nightmare.  The last time Wally had ever seen a nightmare come close to effect Dick like this was when they were still in young justice and it was the anniversary of his parents death. But that was years ago and it hadn't made his boyfriend _shout and fight_ when he was touched, he had never seen a nightmare upset Dick this much, had never seen one that made his boyfriend _shout and fight_ when he was touched.  

      Dick’s eyes landed on Wally and immediately he was at the edge of the bed, reaching out a hand.

      “Jesus, I pushed you off the bed didn’t I?  I’m so sorry Walls, I swear I didn’t mean to.” Dick rambled, helping Wally back into bed.  Despite the way Dick was avoiding eye contact, Wally could see some of the fear from the dream still lingered.  He could see it in the way his shoulders were tensed, his hands shaking slightly as he held Wally’s hand, the grip slightly too tight to be comfortable .

     “Seemed like a pretty bad nightmare, wanna talk about it?” Wally asked.  They almost always did.  It helped them to sort through their thoughts and demons, and helped keep the other in the know about was still hurting.  

      “I don’t really remember what it was about” Dick shrugged, and Wally could tell he was lying.  Dick sounded distant, and he still wasn’t making eye contact, you would think being the adopted son of the batman would make Dick a better liar.  “I feel better now though, nothing to worry about.”  Wally shifted closer to Dick and took hold of both his hands.

      “Babe, look at me,” Wally asked quietly.  Dick hesitantly lifted his blue eyes to meet green.  “We both know keeping stuff in makes it hurt worse, and I’ve known you for too long.  You can’t lie to me.”

      Dick dropped his gaze down to his hands and screwed his mouth shut.  Wally rubbed his thumb over the back of Dick’s hands.  

      “I want to know so I can help you,” Wally added, “I want to know how to help you.  I don’t want you bottling up something that’s hurting you this badly.” Wally finished.  Dick opened and closed his mouth, obviously fighting with himself over how to respond.  Wally squeezed his hands in silent support.  He’d wait all night for Dick to be ready if he had to.

      “It-it was about the night Blockbuster died,” Dick said quietly, giving Wally’s hands a squeeze in response.  Wally felt his heart break a little.  Dick had blamed himself for that night for so long, had beaten himself up over it far more than he had over anything else.

      “I know you felt responsible for his death, but you have to remember it wasn’t you that pulled the trigger.” Wally insisted.  Dick slowly shook his head.

      “No, tonight wasn’t-wasn’t about him specifically.  After he died, something else happened and I,” Dick paused here, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, “I haven’t told anyone because I didn’t think it mattered.  I didn’t even tell Bruce”

      That wasn't good, this was something bad enough that Dick was willing to keep it from Bruce, the freaking Batman.  Wally didn’t respond, just kept moving his thumb in repetitive motions.  This was a story that had to be told at Dick’s own pace.

      “After Blockbuster was shot, I was pretty out of it.  I couldn't think about anything other than what had just happened,” Dick continued. “I didn't move until Tarantula started to guide me to the roof, didn't even question why she would want to go to the roof.  I just went right with her.

      "It was raining, heavily but I didn't feel a thing I was so out of it.  That's why it took me a minute to realize she'd pushed me down onto the rooftop,” Dick paused to take a breath, shutting his eyes.  Wally felt his stomach twist.  He sensed that whatever had happened would be worse than he'd originally thought.

      Dick opened his mouth again, but it looked like he was choking on the words.  Like the story was fighting him after being bottled up for so long. Wally gave Dick’s hands another small squeeze.

      “Take your time, babe.  You don’t have to push yourself,” Wally said.  Dick nodded and took a few more deep breaths.

      “I was so confused, but I just laid there.  Then she-she climbed on top of me, and I said _‘no’_.  I swear to god I said ‘ _no don’t touch me_ ’ but she didn’t listen.  She didn’t stop, she just kept going and _I didn’t do anything!_ ”  Dick pulled his hands away to press the heels of his palms to his eyes, curling in on himself.  

      Wally sat wide-eyed, no idea what he could possibly say.  He didn’t get a chance to try though, because now that the truth had been said Dick’s words came like a flood,  like the dam holding them back had been broken.

      “Why didn’t I do anything? I’m a hero I should have been able to do something to make her stop, should have _tried_ to fight back but I didn’t.  I just let it happen,” Dick said.

      As soon as Dick said that, anger flooder Wally, he never thought he could feel this much hatred towards one person, but Tarantula had proven him wrong.  Hearing Dick blame himself for being _raped_ made Wally want to leave, track down Tarantula and make her pay for ever hurting Dick.  But stopping him was the utter heartbreak that overpowered the anger at seeing how much Dick was hurting right now, how much pain he’d locked away, to deal with alone.  It was the heartbreak that finally gave Wally an idea of what to say.  He reached out and pulled Dick’s hands from his face and put a hand under the other man’s chin so he could look him in the eyes.

      “Look at me Dick, and listen to what I’m about to say.  You did nothing wrong.  You said no and she should have listened.  She should have seen that you didn’t want it and she should have stopped.  What she did was wrong. She is the only one to blame for this, the only one responsible for what happened. Dick what she did was _rape_.”  Wally ran his hand through Dick’s hair and pushed their foreheads together, worried green eyes staring into hurt blue.  “ _You are not to blame for this”_

      Dick nodded and closed his eyes, leaning into Wally.  Without the walls trapping his emotions and the tape holding him together, Dick just looked tired, understandably so considering the enormity of what he’d confessed to not only Wally but himself as well.  Wally lowered his arms to wrap Dick up in a hug, wishing he could just keep him here safe in his arms, wishing he could fight Dick’s memories for him.  He couldn’t, but he could at least be there to support him.  He was prepared to do anything Dick asked, even if he had to spend every night after this waking him from nightmares.  As long as he could provide some sort of help.  As long as it helped Dick heal even the slightest.  Dick returned the hug like it was the only thing keeping him from drowning.

      Wally moved so that they were both lying on their sides, Dick’s head tucked under Wally’s chin and the both of them clinging to the other.  

      “Thank you,” Dick whispered, “for listening, for being here with me .”

      “I will always listen, always,” Wally responded.  He meant every word.

      He rubbed slow circles into Dick’s back, beginning to softly hum a song Dick had taught him once, telling him how his mother used to sing it to him.  Wally opened his mouth and sang the song in quiet Romani, years of practicing with Dick helping the words to effortlessly leave him mouth in a soothing tone .

_"The  stone bridge broke down, the water came and took it down. We'll build another one, another one that will last and is even more beautiful. We'll build another one, another one that will last and is even more beautiful.”_

      He could feel the tension draining from Dick’s muscles, he glanced down to look at his face to see some of the hurt from earlier had drained away.  His jaw was no longer clenched, and the furrow between his brows had eased away.  He smiled as Dick’s breathing evened out, a telltale sign that his boyfriend had fallen asleep again.  Wally decided he would call in to the police station in the morning and tell them Dick wasn’t feeling well.  Dick deserved a chance to sleep late, to focus on himself instead of the city for once.  

      “I won’t let you go through this alone, I promise,” he whispered into his lover’s hair, slowly drifting off himself.  

      The night remained peaceful, with no more nightmares daring to return.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so when I found out about this particular issue of the nightwing series, I checked it out and was really quite angry about how it was handled afterward. I have a lot of issues with Devin Grayson's writing during her Nightwing run, but this is a really big one. This chapter was also quite difficult for me to write, because it really hits close to home. This is something I relate to, despite the fact that he was an adult when this happened and I was a child. The hardest part was figuring out how Dick would tell his story, how he would verbalize it. It's something I have yet to do, so him choking on the words is a very personal touch that I added. I also had a bit of a problem figuring out exactly Wally would say, and in the end I went with the things I tell myself when my mind starts to wander down the same path of self-blame. 
> 
> Writing this, I was reminded of how important it is to find someone you can talk to. I only have one person I've managed to talk to about it, and even having just them is better than the silence. So I'll take this moment to say please, please, if you have been through anything like this, find someone you can talk to. Don't stuff it deep inside, because that's where it turns into unhealthy coping habits. Mine was razors. Any person you trust enough to talk to is important. Hell, you can even message me if you feel you don't have anyone else. Please.
> 
> The next thing I'll talk about is the whole 'is Dick Romani?' thing. This is another major reason I disliked Devin Grayson's Nightwing run, because she was the writer that came up with and wrote the idea. The actual parts where it is discussed are positively soaked in stereotypes, and as a whole were really badly written. Really badly. However, I do like the idea of Dick not being white, or not completely white, so for fanfic purposes I like to go with that. The lullaby Wally sings was suggested to me by my editor and was originally in Romanian (which is NOT Romani) so I went with the English lyrics and wrote that the words were in Romani. I'll be doing research and all that so I can more accurately write Dick as Romani in the future, but if you have and knowledge or resources send them to me! The more the better!
> 
> This was originally in a giant collection of short fics, but I decided to reorganize things. I know I hate searching through collection fics, so I'm not going to do that anymore. Feel free to send me prompts here, or on my tumblr, punk-bird.tumblr.com  
> Happy reading!


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